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How did I get here? Thumbnail

It's been 14 days since the wedding. I ate the last piece of the left over wedding cake and now this morning I am tucked into the couch, feeling the warmth of the morning sun coming in through the window. I feel so still, like I can't move. Honestly, I don't even want to move. My gaze is fixed on my daughters dying wedding bouquet […] Read More

Revive me… 

Revive me…  Thumbnail

Day and night I am asking God to revive me. To enliven my broken heart that refuses to beat.  I so desperately want to be resilient, get up yet again, and bounce back.  I'm begging Him to help me recover and restore to me the joy of life. But, right now everything about life hurts me, and I'm so wounded that I can't get up.  Even watching […] Read More

To acknowledge your dying…  Thumbnail

"To acknowledge that you're dying,  is to let go of the future. " I am tearful to the point of physical pain. I am grieving the loss of my future.  Grieving the loss of my own life.  Yes, I am still here, but it is the unbearable pain of knowing that I will have to say goodbye to the ones I love. It's the pain of […] Read More

My soul waits in silence.  Thumbnail

My soul waits in silence for God only. From Him is my salvation. He is my rock my stronghold, I shall not be greatly shaken. - Psalm 62:1 My soul waits in silence for God only. I'm surrendered to His will, His plan, and His purpose for this... This that feels so painfully wrong and unfair. This that has broken my heart over and over […] Read More

In the dark…  Thumbnail

Again therefore Jesus spoke to them, saying, " I am the light of the world, he who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but shall have the light of life."  - John 8:12 In the dark I can see the light more clearly. In the dark my senses become heightened and I have to rely on what I  know, not what I can see. […] Read More